I Just Had the Weirdest Car Dream

"FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com" (alphaass)
07/14/2017 at 08:59 • Filed to: CHEVROLET CRUZE

I was driving a black current-generation Chevy Cruze diesel and stopped at a gas station to fill up. Then all these people kept coming up to me telling me not to put diesel in it or I’d ruin it and I kept telling them no there is actually a diesel Cruze. Then I turned it on and it sounded like a Cummins Ram. I left and merged onto the highway and then I tried to hypermile and was getting like 55 MPG. And then my alarm wok off and I woke up covered in sweat. What the hell just happened?

DISCUSSION (39)

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:00

Clearly you want a Cruze diesel.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
07/14/2017 at 09:01

Betrayed by my subconscious.

random001 > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:03

You listen to too much Sammy Hagar?

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:04

And now it’s public information. YOU NOW HAVE NO CHOICE

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
07/14/2017 at 09:07

Nobody in their right mind wants a Cruze after the marketing campaign.

I call the hatchback versions “Chevy Mullets” due to that campaign.

Although, a diesel compact in the US is pretty unusual. Especially a domestic one.

pip bip - choose Corrour > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:09

nightmares happen for a reason

time to buy a FoRS

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:10

55mpg is crazy. I’m hypermiling like crazy and doing nothing but highway to get above 30 in my FoST.

Nibby > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:10

The dreaded Cruze nightmare. It affects us all.

Kinja'd!!!

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt I was in Florida and bought a mid-90s red Ford Explorer with brake issues. My coworker, Kevin Durant (the NBA player) and I went away for a weekend but then KD had to go to Home Depot to get a gardening hose.

Zero sense.

Mach-inator > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:15

I’d buy a small diesel car that sounds like a Ram Cummins, just sayin’.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:15

I’ve said for a long time that a good deal of GM’s issues come from poor marketing.

With the exception of a few rare gems, they’re largely useless and awkward.

I don’t have any love for Ford, but their marketing is brilliant. Remember when the Fiesta came out on this side of the pond? The “Lambo vs Fiesta” ads? Those were concentrated bullshit, but they got your attention. Chevy’s ads get your attention only to make you cover your ears and cringe.

PS9 > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:20

lol, you think your dream was weird?

I dreamed last night that I had a dick the size of my femur. It was all the way down to my knee. Then I got up and drove to a national talk show filming across the street from my house about my megadick. I talked to the host in a language I couldn’t understand and had no idea what was being said, but I still responded to the things he said and the audience still laughed.

Then Katy Perry showed up wearing an awful batman costume, and was angry and pointing at me. Then she whipped out a portal generator and a portal to hell opened up. Demons poured out of the portal and started ruining the neighborhood, eating the audience, flipping over cars (except the two imps that stole a smart car(???????)), I stood up and said something heroic (still speaking the alien moon speak so I don’t know what) and unzipped my pants. My dick then transformed into a BFG. Like from Doom.

The dream ended with me running around with my BFG/Dick blowing away Doom demons. All the demons died but BatKatyPerryMan got away in the death star so I couldn’t shoot her. There were no Chevy Cruzes.

ateamfan42 > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:26

Then all these people kept coming up to me telling me not to put diesel in it or I’d ruin it and I kept telling them no there is actually a diesel Cruze.

A friend of mine has a somewhat rare diesel Jeep Liberty. She constantly has people tell her at the pump “Ma’am, that’s diesel!”. It doesn’t help that being a woman people assume she is extra clueless about cars.

PS9 > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:27

But didn’t you hear what the nice european lady said? It’s basically a benz! Everyone wants a Chevy Cruze now!

PS9 > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:29

But didn’t you hear what the nice european lady said? It’s basically a benz! Everyone wants a Chevy Cruze now!

Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:31

Pretty sure there was a VW or Audi commercial exactly like this. Minus the sounding like a Cummins Ram part.

Nibby > PS9
07/14/2017 at 09:46

Just pretend she said satan instead of santa

Kinja'd!!!

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 09:54

I had a dream that VW sold the newer Polo at my dealership and that I was taking delivery of a Urano Grey Golf 1.2 TSI for myself.

Kinja'd!!!

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > PS9
07/14/2017 at 10:02

What the f*ck did I just read?
I don’t know what you take, but order me a pound of it

random001 > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 10:04

I didn’t have any dreams last night, because my darling daughter decided sleep was for the weak. So by the time I got her down at 0215, I had a mere 3 hours to pass out before having to be up for work. Yay.

Textured Soy Protein > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 10:28

You basically dreamed this Audi commercial but with a Cruze.

boredalways > PS9
07/14/2017 at 10:41

Of all things to dream of with big dick and Katy Perry involved, this is...um...this...

[lays a pillow in lap]

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > PS9
07/14/2017 at 10:42

I’ll have whatever he’s having.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
07/14/2017 at 11:19

Marketing is really what they’re good at, after all, it’s where they spend all their money (as opposed to spending it on making better products). Their products are still pretty mediocre. Not as bad as FCAs, but nobody else can be quite that bad.

Ultimately, they are shooting themselves in the foot with the ads among people that know something, but they’re also memorable and keep you thinking about them. Their sales have gone up because people remember they exist due to these commercials, therefore they are succeeding at their intended purpose.

They’re better than they used to be, but everyone’s products are, except maybe Toyota (which has gone way downhill) and Nissan (a shadow of their former selves).

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > PS9
07/14/2017 at 11:19

You should probably avoid strong cheese before bed from now on. And also drugs.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 11:23

Whatever. I find their ads unbelievably shitty. They make me want to go buy a Ford.

...and I’m a die-hard GM guy.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
07/14/2017 at 11:29

You’re also, above all else, a car guy. Car people hate those Chevy ads...

They’re targeting non-car-people, which is the vast majority of car buyers.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 11:32

That’s fair enough I guess...

Since I’m not going to be able to provide a bias-free argument I’m going to drop the subject

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein
07/14/2017 at 12:02

Yep. Except everyone was much less attractive.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
07/14/2017 at 12:08

That one would be pretty heartbreaking to wake up from.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > random001
07/14/2017 at 12:11

I remember those days... how old is she?

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Mach-inator
07/14/2017 at 12:13

I know right. Someone around here had a Mk IV Golf TDI that sounds like a tractor and rolls coal. I hate that it is on public roads yet I can’t help but love the absurdity of it.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy
07/14/2017 at 12:13

Yep. AtlasM posted it. After I watched I remembered seeing it, but I haven’t in years. Dreams are weird.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 12:16

I have no idea what they actually get - it was a dream I’m surprised I didn’t dream 100 or -20 or something like that. The diesel is actually rated at 52 on the highway so 55 might actually be realistic. I must have read a review of it while I was half drunk/half asleep with a car magazine on an airplane and forgotten about it only to have it show back up in a dream.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > random001
07/14/2017 at 12:18

Coincidentally enough, as I was going to bed the last thing I saw on the TV before turning it off was a commercial for that Rock n’ Roll Road Trip with Sammy Hagar on AXS.

random001 > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 12:22

10 Months.

random001 > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 12:22

Well, you got 55 mpg at 55 mph, soooo...

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > random001
07/14/2017 at 12:27

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > random001
07/14/2017 at 12:29

Awesome. That’s a fun age when they really start to develop their own personality. But still don’t sleep much. Hang in there. For me, at least, having kids sort of got my body permanently used to less sleep. I can hardly sleep more than 6 hours straight now, and I get more done because I’m up earlier every day than I was pre-kids even though my youngest is 4 so I’m well past the getting up at night phase.

random001 > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/14/2017 at 12:31

Well, I have a boy 18 months older than my daughter, so I’ve been through this, but it was nice to have them all sleeping through the night.